Man of Steel? More like Little Girl of Steel. That movie sucked. (Don’t worry there are no real spoilers in this post in case you actually wanted to watch it. I don’t know why you would though.)

Ok fine it wasn’t that bad, I guess.

Now, this post isn’t going to be one of my usual brilliantly analytical and insightful posts that you all know and love. I’m in a bit of a hurry since I procrastinated, so I’m basically just going to rant about this terrible movie.

To start off, the very concept is bad. Superman is a bad superhero concept. He’s way too strong, which makes it ridiculously difficult to construct a believable and interesting story about him. I mean, what villain can stand up to a superhuman alien that can shoot lasers out of his eyes and fly faster than a speeding bullet? The creators of this movie actually did a decent job addressing that problem, because the villains in this  movie are other superhuman aliens that can shoot lasers out of their eyes and fly faster than speeding bullets.

Now, getting to the actual movie, there are a bunch of plot holes that tie together a poorly written story. At one point in the movie, Superman goes aboard an alien ship, who, for no reason at all, want Lois Lane to come aboard the ship as well. Seriously, the aliens have no reason for wanting this little whore from Earth (seriously, she goes from indifferent to wanting that superD really quickly). Another plot hole comes near the end of the movie, when the humans create a singularity in the middle of Metropolis in an attempt to send the aliens into deep space. Somehow, while the black hole sucks up just about everyone else, Lois Lane actually begins falling away from the singularity, triggering a typical girl-falls-and-needs-to-be-saved-by-the-superhero scene. Superman and Lois also begin making out right afterwards as well, as the rest of the city is falling into ruins. Surely, saving civilians should take a back seat in this situation, right?

The movie also tries to take a pseudo-scientific  approach to how Superman’s powers work. Apparently, his x-ray vision and laser beams come from Earth’s “nourishing” atmosphere and his super strength comes from the young, yellow Sun. Earth’s gravity is also much lighter than Krypton’s, enabling Superman to jump spectacular distances. Yet somehow, in the middle of the movie, Superman begins to fly! In the context of the movie and the scientific explanations given to his other powers, it just doesn’t make sense that low gravity can enable someone to fly.

Anyway, don’t watch this movie. It sucks.

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