So this has not been a good week for my car. In the space of about 3 days, my poor little Corolla lost 3 hubcaps and got 2 parking citations. I’m particularly pissed off about the parking citations, because I didn’t deserve them at all!
It’s a good thing I’ve always wanted to represent myself in court. I don’t know why but it just seems really cool. So, this is my big chance. Unfortunately, I don’t know the first thing about law.The closest I’ve been to lawyering was a little speech and debate in high school. I was awful. So now it’s time to prep really hard. My training routine will consist of watching copious amounts of Suits and Law and Order every day for the next week or so. Then, when I’m sufficiently versed in all that jazz, I’ll suit up and head over to the courtroom and make the plaintiff look silly and walk away fully exonerated with a standing ovation and music playing in the background. That’s out it plays out in my head, anyway. Stay tuned next week (or the week after, depending on how
far I get into my shows much practice I get in) for my next edition of Battle with the Law! I’ll be posting a recording of my court case (hopefully, that’s not illegal).
I have the major part of my appeal ready. Here are the offending tickets:
And here’s the proof of my innocence:
Case closed. Also, let me know if you see anyone with my hubcaps.